The Greatest Love of  Captain Jack Sparrow
by Runt Thunderbelch
Summary: A rollicking tale of pirates, sword fighting, a beautiful woman, pirate hunters, love, a secret passageway, a boudoir, treasure chests, narrow escapes, a treasure map, betrayals, jewels, zombies, and Captain Jack Sparrow.  Rated T for nudity & innuendo.
1. An Evening of Enchantment

Hear ye! Hear ye! I owneth not the intellectual property rights to _Pirates of the Caribbean_. Nay, I shall not make a single piece of eight off this yarn. So read this, if ye have the learnin', and review it, if ye have a mind to.

Chapter 1: An Evening of Enchantment

Suzanne de Xanillèe, daughter of the governor of the French colony of Petit-Goâve, was the most beautiful woman Captain Jack Sparrow had even seen. As they danced in the crowded ballroom, Jack feasted his eyes on the ruby and gold necklace that draped over her milky bosom. Her shell-like ears bore dazzling earrings which matched the necklace. And atop her long, blond, glorious hair sat an eye-popping tiara. Rubies sparkled in her hair. Four rubies rings decorated her slender fingers. Her hourglass figure was dressed in a scarlet gown, which matched color of the rubies that glistened on her like a constellation. Streaked throughout the plush gown, were threads of purest gold.

Elizabeth and Will danced by. Like Jack, they were both dressed to the nines in elegant clothing plundered from passing merchant ships. Elizabeth's eyes shot Jack daggers. "Stop it!" she mouthed silently. "Find the treasury!"

He mouthed back, "I'm working on it."

Elizabeth's pretty, pert nose jerked upwards in disbelief and disgust, and she and Will danced away.

Okay, so Jack wasn't working on it. Not exactly. He'd forgotten all about finding Petit-Goâve's hidden treasury, which held the gold he'd promised his crew to keep them from mutinying. Jack was besought and bedazzled by Suzanne de Xanillèe. He longed to get this enchantress someplace secluded. He'd whisper sweet nothings into her ear until she was overcome with passion and her clothing simple fell off. Then he'd grab her jewelry and clothes and run like hell.

"It's a little stuffy in here," he said. "Why don't you and I go out into the gardens?" Better the rubies that you see, he thought, than the gold in the treasury you can't find.

"Oh no, Captain," Suzanne replied breathily. "I love the crowd; I love the music; I love the dancing."  
"But to see you in moonlight -"

"Fa! You can see me even better, right here."

"But what say, I wished to steal a kiss from you. How am I to do that here?  
"Why, Captain!" She was not nearly as shocked as she pretended. "We only met tonight! I know so little about you. For all I know, you might be that notorious pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow!"

"Who?"

"Oh, he's a murderous villain who's been plaguing Port Royal and the Windward Passage. Rumor is that his ship, the _Black Pearl, _has now been spotted just three miles north of us here in Petit-Goâve!"

"Heaven forbid! We are in the most grievous danger! And that being so, for us to put off the chance for love, even for a second -"

"Fa!" she sang out. Then she skipped into the arms of another man and went reeling off across the dance floor.

Jack grumped over to the refreshment table. He grabbed up a goblet of rum, glared at his intended victim, and took a huge gulp of –- gag -– Madeira? What kind of party was it where they didn't serve rum? Jack started to hurl the drink away, but then thought better of it, and drank it. Bah, Madeira! He hated Madeira. Only pigs drank Madeira. He poured himself another glass.

"A beautiful night, is it not?" asked a silky smooth voice in a Castilian accent. Jack turned to find himself looking up at a tall, muscular Spaniard, dressed in all the fineries that the plunder of the Aztec and Inca Empires could provide. This handsome gentleman was obviously rich beyond measure.

"Ah! Yes, it is. And by the look of you, I'd guess that you're a sea captain."

"I am indeed," replied the Spaniard, as Jack's mouth watered in greedy anticipation. "Allow me to introduce myself. Well, I have one of those annoying Spanish name that rattles on for a half hour, so I will give you my curious nickname, 'El León de Cartagena'."

"I've heard that name," mumbled Jack as he dug through his memory. Suddenly his blood went cold. "Pirate hunter, are you not?"

"Oh, sí. Right now, I am on the trail of a most desperate one: Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Really, the governor's daughter and I were just discussing him," said Jack, vaguely indicating the treasure who'd just danced away from him. "Any idea of where to find him?"

"He's about three feet right in front of me."

Jack turned and fled.


	2. The Trap Closes

Chapter 2: The Trap Closes

Heavy boots clattered behind him. Jack pounded up the wide staircase that reached a spacious landing and then switchbacked back to the left to ascend up to the mezzanine level. El León's bully boys were cascading down from there, so Jack turned right, not left, and leapt. He grabbed the bottom of the crystal chandelier and swung towards the ballroom's high-paned windows. But he didn't have enough momentum.

Jack slowed to a halt then swung back towards the grasping hands of El León's men. One of the men from up on the mezzanine dove over the railing and, as he hurtled passed, grabbed onto Jack's legs. This jerked Jack's swing back towards the windows. The man lost his grip and was thrown through the glass, but Jack could see there still was not enough momentum to carry him along as well. So back again he went towards the landing.

Desperate, Jack began to climb. A moment later, he was perched atop the chandelier, holding onto its central chain with one hand and waving his cutlass with the other. Below him, the governor's guards had gathered with their ceremonial halberds (which from here, looked very sharp indeed.) On the landing and on the mezzanine, El León's bully boys brandished their cutlasses and jeered. But praise be to all the gods in all the pantheons in all the heavens in all the universe, there was not a single pistol or musket to be seen.

"Sorry, mates," he told them. "It takes more than just enthusiasm and sheer weight of numbers to capture Captain Jack Sparrow!"

El León strode majestically across the floor. "Give up, Captain Sparrow. You have nowhere to go."

"If I gave up mate, I wouldn't be Captain Jack Sparrow, now, would I?" He looked around desperately for Will and Elizabeth, but they were nowhere to be seen.

The chandelier ripped out of the ceiling and sent him and it crashing into the guardsmen below. Some men were flattened, and the rest were flung away like nine pins. Jack came hopping out of the wreckage and picked up his fallen cutlass and plumed hat. He turned to face El León's men, who were hurdling down the staircase.

He was outnumbered, say, about twenty-to-one. This was good because no matter which way he swung, he hit an enemy. With his blade flashing, he fought a retreat back to the door underneath the stairs and from there into the kitchen.

The passageway between the cupboards, stoves and chopping tables was narrow, and so El León's men were forced into a narrow column. Jack slowly gave ground before them, his right hands slashing with his cutlass, his left hand hurling pots, kettles, a frying pan, a soup tureen, knives, a live chicken, a coconut, a serving tray, some corn on the cob, another live chicken, a chef's assistant, some towels, and a roast piglet.

Then Jack turned and ran through the door behind him.


	3. Ragetti and Pintel

Chapter 3: Ragetti and Pintel

Out on the open grounds, Jack's legs stretched out, and he veritably flew through the estate's luxurious gardens. "Get in the boat!" he shrieked. "Start rowing! Don't wait for me! Get going now, now, now!"

Ragetti and Pintel looked up from where they'd been fishing, concealed in high reeds. What they saw was Captain Jack Sparrow running madly towards him with his hands flailing wildly in front of him. Behind him came twenty Spaniards waving cutlasses.

"Uh oh."

Jack's plumed hat flew off. He turned back, snatched the hat up off the lawn, saw how close the Spanish were getting, yipped, and returned to his panicked fleeing.

Ragetti and Pintel threw their fishing poles into their nearby longboat and wrestled it into the river.

"Get in the boat!" The hysterical voice of Captain Jack Sparrow came echoing out of the night. "Start rowing!

Ragetti started pulling at the oars while Pintel manned the tiller. When Pintel turned the boat to starboard, Ragetti hesitated. "The captain wants us to go the other way."

"I know what I'm doing," snapped Pintel.

The tall, scrawny pirate with the wooden eye shrugged and again began pulling at the oars. The rapidly flowing, narrow river cut through the majestic grounds of the Governor of Petit-Goâve and, where Ragetti and Pintel had been fishing, it forked in two. The captain's escape plan had been to row down the left branch, but Pintel was taking them down the right branch.

"Where are you going?" squealed Jack as he came over a rise and saw the direction the longboat. "Where are you going?" He leaped and landed in the boat. He would have gone on over the side, but Pintel grabbed his belt.

"I found a shortcut."

"Shortcut?" echoed Jack. "Shortcuts are good!" He replaced Pintel at the tiller, and the short, bald pirate joined Ragetti in rowing.

"Where're Mister Turner and Miss Swan?"

"Oh, they're hunting down the treasure room while I distract the guards."

Pintel looked back at the score of the pursuing Spaniards. "I hope they're as good at their job as you are at yours."

The longboat sped around a curve, dipped through a copse of trees and came out in rapids.

"Rapids!" choked Jack, "Rapids are bad!" He looked around. The boat was doing okay and indeed was picking up speed. "No, good. Rapids are good!" He looked back through the copse of trees and saw no Spaniards. He liked seeing no Spaniards. "Nice rapids. Wonderful rapids. I like rapids. -What's that sound?"

"What sound?"

"That kind of roaring sound. Growing louder. Ahgh!" He slammed the tiller to the side, but too late. The ferocious current swept the boat along and hurled it over a waterfall.


	4. A Locked Door

Chapter 4: A Locked Door

Okay, admittedly it wasn't much of a waterfall, being less than five feet high. But it was enough to capsize the longboat and to throw Jack, Ragetti and Pintel into the water.

Jack came up sputtering. The waterfall roared in his ears and, when he looked around, he realized to his horror that he was totally blind! Everything was black! He wiped his eyes, hoping in vain that maybe something was draped over them, but his eyes were fine. He should be able to see, but couldn't. He wanted to scream but he was too scared.

Then he saw wisps of light, long, vertical, undulating wisps of light that dance eerily and faintly before him. He swam forward and, as he reached the wisps of light, he was forced down by the plummeting of the waterfall. Okay, that meant he was behind the waterfall. He kept swimming and came out into the moonlight. Not far off Ragetti and Pintel were wrestling with the longboat, trying to turn in right side up. The boat was carrying them away from Jack.

"Psst!" He tried to get their attention. "Ahoy!" But the two men couldn't hear him over the roar of the falls. "Hey! You two! Over here!" They kept wrestling with the boat. Jack picked up a rock from the bank and hurled it.

It hit Ragetti on the forehead. His one good eye rolled upwards, and he sank unconscious beneath the churning water.

Pintel pulled him up again. The furious, bald man looked around for their assailant, but then realized it had been Jack. The captain waived them over, and so Pintel grabbed Ragetti's collar and pulled him through the water over to the waterfall.

"We need to hide under here!" Jack shouted. "The Spanish will be here any minute, and if they catch us floundering about in the water, we'll be swinging in nooses by morning!"

"What?"

"Can you hear me?"

"What?"

Jack grabbed Pintel and forced him and Ragetti through the waterfall. Once they were in darkness, they swam over to a rocky bank, pulled themselves up onto it, and lay there gasping.

Ragetti came to. "Where am I?" he asked.

"What?"

"Hey mates!" called out Jack. "There's a door over here! A locked door underneath a waterfall! Why would anyone build such a thing? Obviously, to try and keep us out! Savvy? That means we have to break in!"

"What?"

"Have either of you got a skeleton key on you?"  
"What?"  
Jack gave up. He picked up a rock and hit the padlock with it. He hit it again. And again, and again, and again. No luck. The lock maybe rusty, but it was stronger than the rock. Jack tossed the rock away, backed up a bit, aimed his shoulder at the wooden door, and charged. The wood-rotted, termite-gnawed door shattered into dust, and Jack went hurdling into the darkness beyond.

Ragetti appeared in the doorway, silhouetted in the moonlight filtering through the waterfall. "Captain, are you all right?"

"What?"

The scrawny pirate reached inside his vest and brought out a candle, small and dirty to be sure, but still a candle. With his bony fingers, he wrung the water out the wick the best he could, then put the hammer of his pistol up next to it, and pulled the trigger. The wet powder wouldn't fire of course, but the flint hitting steel sparked, and the spark lit the candle. Ragetti held the candle out and found a torch just inside the door. He used the candle to light the torch.

It was a crypt. Dust-covered coffins lined both sides of the stone-walled room. Horizontal niches were carved into the walls, and ancient skeletons lay within them. Near the doorway was an unoccupied coffin. Pintel moved the lid to cover the opening left by the obliteration of the door. That helped to keep some out the roar of the waterfall out, and kept the light in.

"Nothing of value here," grumbled Jack looking around.

Pintel said, "What an awful place."

"Why would anyone go to such lengths to hide a place that holds nothing of value?"

Pintel suggested, "Why don't we break into the coffins? Maybe there's something hidden inside."

Jack's spine wriggled at that suggestion.

Ragetti piped up, "I have a better way." He popped his wooden eye out of its socket. "I had Tia Dalma put a blessing on me eye. Now it 'sees' the answer to mysteries I comes up against. Watch this." He held the eyeball between his thumb and middle finger, snapped his fingers, and set the eyeball spinning. It danced merrily on a coffin lid, then kicked off and went bouncing across the floor. "Where'd it go?"

Jack continued to look around. A locked room hidden beneath a waterfall. Why? The candlelight on the walls wiggled as Ragetti carried his candle as he crawled along the floor looking for his eye. But the shifting light revealed nothing to Jack.

From the back of the room, Ragetti called out, "Captain, you see this wall back here? It's really a door."


	5. The Return of Captain Jack Sparrow

Chapter 5: The Return of Captain Jack Sparrow

Captain Jack Sparrow led the way up the cramped stone-lined passageway, torch in one hand, cutlass in the other. Behind him followed Pintel and Ragetti. "Mates, do you know what this is?"

Pintel looked around anxiously. He didn't like this place. The walls were too close; the ceiling was too low; patches of slime on the floor made it too slippery. It smelled funny.

Ragetti guessed, "A tunnel?"

"Yes it's a tunnel," sighed Jack. "But what kind of tunnel?"

"There are different kinds?"

"It's an escape tunnel, savvy? If the main house is every under attack by, say, pirates, the governor and his family can sneak down this tunnel and get away."

Pintel chuckled evilly. "It ain't helpin' 'em against pirates tonight, is it Captain?"

Ragetti was puzzled. "If it's an escape tunnel, then why is the lock on the door at the end on the outside and not on the inside?"

"I don't know the answer to everything, mate."

The passageway led up and up and up. It was never very steep, but it was very long indeed. But then, it was a very long way back up to the governor's house.

They finally arrived at a small, wooden room which marked the end of the tunnel. Jack slid open a panel and peered through. One the other side was the governor's personal library. It was empty and dark. Music and laughter filtered in from the party in the rooms beyond.

"You two stay here. You're not dressed for a fancy dress ball. I'll be back to fetch you once I get the loot. Savvy?"

Pintel gave him a harsh look. "See that you do, Captain. The men is gettin' anxious."

Jack opened the wall, which turned out to be the back of a bookcase, stepped into the darkness of the library and closed the bookcase behind him. There was an internal window in the library, which looked into the ballroom. The pirate captain stood in the shadows and watched the wealthiest citizens of Petit-Goâve dance and drink and chat and laugh and munch on those silly, little hors-d'oeuvre thingies.

Suzanne de Xanillèe, covered in glistening rubies, was the most beautiful of them all.

Captain Jack Sparrow was captivated by her. He felt as if they had known each other all their lives. For example, he knew that if she had that many rubies, she must have an equal number of diamonds, of emeralds, of sapphires, and probably of jade, just all kinds of jewels. His heart beat faster.

It would have been a waste of time to sweet talk her out of her clothes so that he could steal them and her rubies. What he really wanted was her jewelry box, containing all the gems which she wasn't wearing right now. That box would be in her bedroom, which would be somewhere upstairs. And it would be unguarded.

Jack hurried to the library's writing desk. There he found paper, quill, ink and a bud vase. On the paper, he penned a hurried love note, signed it "Jack," and stole the flower out of the bud vase. He took the note with the flower and ducked through a secondary door of the library.

It took him into the pantry, where he came face-to-face with the head butler. "Oh."

The butler fixed a cold eye upon him. "May I help you, monsieur?" The question had daggers in it.

"Yes, yes you may," responded Jack, pressing the note and flower into the man's wrinkled hands. "It's a matter of life and death, savvy? Can you please take these up to Mademoiselle Susanne's room?"

"Well, monsieur, I don't think-"

"Please, please, please, s'il vous plaît?"

"I guess, I guess it will be all right." He took a few steps and then turned back. "Monsieur, do you realize that you are dripping wet?"

"Yes. Yes, I went swimming in the fountain." Jack pointed over his shoulder.

"Mon Dieu, not that fountain!"

"Why? What's the matter with that fountain?"

"Uh monsieur, sometimes some of the lower servants, well, sometimes they are lazy. They do not wish to walk all the way to the outhouse, and so they use that fountain to- Pardonnez moi, monsieur." The butler hurried off on his errand.

Jack returned to the library, and in its deep shadows he watched the butler ascend the stairs up to the mezzanine level, pause briefly to sneak a peek at the note, smile (he was French after all), and then pick up his step as he ascended another set of stairs up to the topmost level. A walkway up there looked down upon the mezzanine, and ornate doorways lined the far side. The head butler went to one of them, reached up above the doorjamb, took down a hidden key, unlocked the door, and carried the note and flower inside.

Jack hurried back into the pantry. He found an assistant chef there. "Which way to the back staircase?" he asked, assuming there must be one.

The assistant chef threw a casual thumb over one shoulder. "It's in the back," he replied.


	6. En Boudoir

Chapter 6: En Boudoir

Captain Jack Sparrow opened the door to the bedroom of Mademoiselle Suzanne de Xanillèe and returned the key to its hiding place above the door. He crept quietly into the dark room and silently closed her door behind him. Her perfume lingered in the air, driving Jack mad with desire.

In the moonlight, he spotted an oil lamp sitting on the dresser. He crossed to it and used one of her new-fangled matches to light it. The whale oil caught and glowed nicely.

Jack took a quick glance around the room to see if Suzanne had been careless enough to leave her jewelry box sitting out in plain sight. She hadn't been. The only things sitting out were Jack's note and flower, sitting on the nightstand. So, he'd need to do a thorough search.

One wall had a section with floor-to-ceiling curtains. Jack went to them and opened them to let in more moonlight. He found French doors there which opened out onto a small balcony, sitting atop the slanted roof. With the curtains open, Jack saw that he was still dripping river water. This wouldn't do. He went outside onto the balcony and began removing his clothing, hanging the various garments over the railing to dry. Then, clad only in his trousers, he went back inside to begin his search.

He searched everywhere, through all the drawers, inside closets, inside and behind cupboards, under the bed, behind the curtains, even under the seats of well padded chairs. If there were a jewelry box in this room, he couldn't find it.

Jack harrumphed. And, as he harrumphed, a key rattled in the door lock. Jack flew to the oil lamp, blew it out and dove under the bed.

"Did you see, him, Ceci? Did you see him?" gushed Suzanne as she entered the room.

"Yes, milady," answered her maid as she relit the oil lamp.

"He was dashing, was he not?"

"Very dashing, milady."

"Poised atop that chandelier, waving his cutlass, defying all the world! Oh, it took my very breath away!"

Jack peeked out from beneath the bed. Suzanne, with the maid's help, was getting undressed. He watched her intently (to see where her jewels would go, of course).

The maid had spread a kerchief on the dresser and was placing the jewelry upon it as Suzanne removed them. Then the maid unfastened the stays to the scarlet dress, and when she was done, it slithered to the floor. What a beautify chemise she had on underneath.

"Ceci, what is that? On my nightstand!" Suzanne freed her feet of the dress and hurried to her nightstand. She scooped up the note and flower that were sitting here, flipped open the note and read it. "He has been here!" she gasped. "In this very room!" She sniffed the flower, and read the note again. "Oh, why didn't he remain?"

Ceci joked, "Because then he would have seen you in your chemise, and that would be scandalous."

"Oh, why didn't he stay?" she pouted. She came back over to Ceci and they began removing the chemise.

Jack was lying awkwardly on one arm. It chose this moment to begin going to sleep. He stifled a groan and squirmed around to massage it and to get the blood flowing again. When the prickles stopped, he sighed with relief and peeked out from underneath the bed again.

The last of Suzanne's clothes were coming off. She stood there, naked as a Vatican statute. She was so pink and had such delicious curvy parts. Jack's head swam with unbridled lust.

Ceci went to the dresser to get a nightgown.

"Don't bother," Suzanne told her, "I will sleep like this."

The maid swung around, scandalized. "Au natural, milady?" she gasped. "Why, that is, that is sinful!"

"Yes, yes! I feel sinful tonight, so very wicked!"  
"But milady, you cannot!"

"I can and will!" Suzanne climbed into bed, which bounced Jack's head off the floor. "I will sleep like this tonight and dream of Jack Sparrow! And if he would come to me this night, I would make wild, passionate love with him!"

"Milady!"

"I would! I would! I swear I would!"

"But what of El León?"

"Fa!"

"What of, what of, you know, the other?"

"There is no man for me other than Jack Sparrow!"

"Sunday, you must confess all this to the priest. You must purge your soul of these evil thoughts."

"Fa!"

Ceci put out the oil lamp and gathered up Suzanne's clothing and the kerchief with the jewelry. "Milady, you must not talk like this. You must not!" she exclaimed and exited out the door.

Jack looked after her, trying to figure out how he could follow Ceci without Suzanne seeing him as he crossed the room.

Suzanne moaned into the empty darkness of her boudoir. "Jack Sparrow, Jack Sparrow, darling Jack Sparrow! Where forth art thou? Come to me, my love, my dearest love, and I will make thee the happiest man on the face of the Earth!"

He tried to remain quiet, but he found that he could not, not in the face of the words she just said. He simply could not bite his tongue for another minute. He cried out, "It's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!"


	7. The Course of True Love

Chapter 7: The Course of True Love

His head popped up beside her bed, and he repeated oh so tenderly, "Captain Jack Sparrow."

"What are you doing here!" she squeaked.

"Answering your prayers, luv."

"Argh!" Suzanne grabbed the nearby thunder mug and smacked it down on his head.

"Ow!"

"Get out! Get out now!"

"But you said - ow!" She had crowned him again. "Stop hitting me!"

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to hear everything, darlin'," he murmured.

"You monster!" She hit him again.

"But you said," Jack stammered, his frustration turning to anger. All right, she was asking for it. He pointed. "Your blankets have fallen down."

Suzanne gasped and jerked them back up to cover herself. "Get out before I scream! Because if I scream, you'll be dangling on Gallows Dock before sunrise!"

He grinned wolfishly. "You won't scream, luv, because if you do-"

There was a knock on the door. El León's voice asked, "Suzanne darling, are you decent?"

Terror filled Suzanne's eyes, and she dove back underneath the covers. Terror filled Jack's entire body, and he dove back underneath the bed.

The door opened quietly and in crept El León. He closed the door and crossed over to her bed. "Suzanne darling, wake up. The night is still young."

"No," she groaned. "I want to sleep."

"Not on a night like this," he said, "a night made for lovers."

"No, Pussycat," she pleaded. "Go away and let me sleep."

He flung away her covers and feasted his eyes on her naked flesh. "You climb into bed dressed like this, and you tell me that you want to sleep? Somehow, I do not believe you."

"Go away," she said, pulling her covers back up. "I do not love you anymore."

"How could you not? I am magnifico. Handsome, charming, rich beyond belief."

"You are one of my father's hired hands, brought in to capture Captain Jack Sparrow. Nothing more."

"My little nibblet of corn," he protested, "what has gotten into you?"

A voice called up from the floor of the ballroom, "Capitán, ¿dónde estás? Los piratas! Hemos capturado a los piratas!"

El León gasped, "Sparrow! We have captured Jack Sparrow!" He turned and ran from the room.

Jack climbed out from underneath the bed. "Captain Jack Sparrow," he grumbled. "Why is it so hard to say 'Captain'?"

"He's captured you?"

"I don't think so." Jack went to the door and peeked out. Then jumped back and shut the door. "It's Elizabeth and Will!"

"Who and who?"

"Sorry luv, I have to go." Jack ran out onto the balcony and began dressing as fast as he could.

Suzanne got out of bed and crept over to the French doors. "Who are Elizabeth and Will?"

"Mates of mine. I have to save them."

She looked at him pulling on his jacket and then looked at the door, beyond which two pirates were undoubtedly being trussed up so that they could be dragged down to Gallows Dock to an early morning execution.

As she looked at the door, it opened a crack. An evil voice whispered, "Mademoiselle de Xanillèe? It is I, Père Nuit. Your hour is at hand."

Suzanne ran across the room and dove back into bed.

The door opened the rest of the way, and a scrawny voodoo bokor entered. His clothes were little better than rags. His dirty top hat was crumpled to one side. "Rejoice, little one, Père Nuit has come to claim you. Tonight, your will shall bow down to the will of Père Nuit. The desires of Père Nuit will become your desires. Come to me now. Père Nuit commands you."

"No."

"You cannot refuse Père Nuit."

"Can too."

"You cannot. Père Nuit's will cannot be resisted."

"Go away."

"Maybe I have not explained the powers of voodoo in sufficient detail. Père Nuit is the bokor; you are my puppet."

Jack tapped the voodoo bokor on the shoulder. When the surprised man turned around, Jack slugged him. Hard. Père Nuit hit the floor and lay still. "I don't think I like him."

Suzanne leapt from the bed. "Save your mates," she said, But you aren't going alone. I shall go with you."

"Um, not dressed like that you're not."

She looked down, gasped, ran to her dresser and opened it. She grabbed a shirt and put it on, and then a pair of trousers. She leapt into the pants, grabbed a rope belt, and slipped it through the pant loops as she ran back to him. "Ready."

Jack was agog. "I don't think I've ever seen anybody get dressed so fast."

Suzanne shrugged and said sadly, "I have."


	8. A Fair Fight Pirate Style

Chapter 8: A Fair Fight (Pirate Style)

The few remaining party guests huddled in horrified fascination on one side of the ballroom. El León's bully boys had the arms of Elizabeth and Will pinioned behind their backs. The two squirmed helplessly. El León languidly approached them. In his hand was a poker from the fireplace. Its tip glowed red hot.

"And so, my pirate friends," he said, his smooth voice as deadly as a viper's hiss, "you will tell me the location of Captain Jack Sparrow."

"We are not pirates!" snarled Elizabeth. "I am Elizabeth Swan, daughter of the Governor Swan of Port Royal! We have an invitation! You have seen it! This is my escort for the evening, William Turner, Esquire."

El León nodded. "I have seen your clever forgery; this is true. And your father is Governor of Port Royal; this is true. But as his daughter, you have shamed him by becoming a rogue, a renegade, and a rebel."

"Leave her alone!" snarled Will. "I'm the pirate!"

"Indeed you are," sneered El León. "Will Turner, infamous accomplice of Captain Jack Sparrow, son of the pirate Bootstrap Bill Turner. Oh, you shall look pretty dangling from a rope."

"We don't know where Captain Sparrow is!"

The glowing poker danced just inches from Will's face. El León smiled. "Don't you now?"

"Torturing me won't help," spat Will. "I can't tell you what I don't know!"

The poker flashed from dangling in front of Will's face to dangling in front of Elizabeth's face. El León's eyes remained fixed on Will's. "What about now?"

"Don't hurt her!" gasped Will. "Okay, I'll tell you want you want to know! Don't hurt her. I'll tell you!"

"Will, no! Don't!"

The young man shook his head helplessly. He couldn't bear to see her beauty marred.

"You see, mis hombres? Even a pirate can be reasonable. Where is he?"

Will's head hung. "Turn around," he said. "Captain Jack Sparrow is standing about twenty feet right behind you."

The pirate hunter pulled his cutlass and swung around.

Jack was smiling like a cobra. "Evening, mate."

Cutlasses scraped on their scabbards as El León's men drew their weapons.

El León smiled back. "Captain Sparrow, you appear to be slightly outnumbered."

"Twenty pirate hunters against one pirate? Sounds like a fair fight to me."

Ragetti and Pintel burst out of the library, cutlasses in hand. They took up station on either side of Jack. Pintel sneered, "Twenty pirate hunters against three pirates!"

Susanne burst out of the crowd of party guests. In one hand was a dagger; in her other arm were a collection of swords. She slammed into the backs of Elizabeth and Will and shoved them across the room to where the pirates were standing. Her dagger slashed, and the bonds of both were cut. They all grabbed for blades, and then turned to face El León's men.

Susanne swept back an errant lock of blond hair which had fallen free. "Twenty pirate hunters against six pirates!" she declared.

El León shook his head mournfully. "Minou, my sweet. Do not to this thing."

"It is done!"

He winced. "Así," he moaned. "But I will not let the woman I love die in an unfair fight." He turned to his men and motioned them back towards the crowd. He took a cutlass from one of his men and then motioned the others to sheath their weapons. They reluctantly complied. "Stay where you are," he ordered them. Then El León, a cutlass in each hand, turned back to the pirates.

"One pirate hunter against six pirates. Now _this_ is a fair fight." El León dropped into a fighting stance and snarled, "Prepárate para morir!"

Pintel and Ragetti were the first to attack, followed closely by Will, Elizabeth and Suzanne.

Jack hung back, waiting for the opening that must come when El León defended himself against five attackers. An opening simply had to come. It was a sure thing. Except the two blades of El León were whirling like the wings of a hummingbird which had drunk too much coffee. His swords were two blurs, knocking cutlass after cutlass aside. Thrust after thrust were parried. Jack tried a couple of exploratory stabs, but each time, his cutlass was met with a stinging blow which slapped it aside. This man was astonishing.

Without warning, El León lunged for Ragetti's face. There was a hideous scream, and the point of El León's blade came back with an eyeball impaled on it. But no blood or fluid dripped from it. El León realized the eye must be made of wood and contemptuously he flicked his wrist, and the eyeball soared across the room.

Ragetti shrieked and went scrambling after it.

The eyeball bounced off the far wall, ricocheted off some furniture and came to rest, cradled in the trigger guard of a pistol that was lying on the floor. Ragetti dove for it. He scooped the eye up and fingered it back into its socket. Then he espied the pistol. It was engraved with the words, "Property of William Turner." The scrawny pirate picked the pistol up, pulled back the flint, spun around, aimed it at El León and fired.

The pirate hunter grunted when the ball hit him, and he flopped, spread-eagled, over backwards. Blood gurgled up from the gaping hole in the middle of his chest.

Jack peered passed the four pirates in front of him. "Ooh mate, that looks like a nasty wound. I'd have a doctor look at that if I were you."

As El León's men gathered around him, Jack led the pirates in a general retreat back through the library.


	9. Betrayal

Chapter 9: Betrayal

They slipped through the disguised bookcase door into the small wooden room beyond. Pintel plucked the torch out of its wall holder and cried, "This way!"

"Belay that, mate!" snapped Jack. He turned and pinned Suzanne to the wall. "Okay Miss Governor's daughter, it's now time you earned your keep, savvy? Where is the colony's hidden treasury?"

"The what?"  
"The hidden treasury! You know, that special stash of gold and silver which your father uses to pay the colony's expenses."

"But there, there isn't any," she stammered.

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not. We're a small colony, a poor colony. The few francs that are collected in taxes are immediately stolen by my father to pay tribute to Père Nuit or to buy me jewels."

"Then we go to Plan B, luv. Where are your jewels?"

She slapped his face. "Don't even think about stealing my jewels!"

"I can think about stealing them if I want to," Jack said defensively. "It's a free country."

Pintel stuck his face into hers. "If this is such a poor colony, why does the governor has such a splendid mansion?"

Suzanne shook her head. "He built this before I was born, back when he wasn't buying jewels for me and before Père Nuit ever showed up."

Elizabeth slipped into the conversation. "Let me explain what's going on," she said soothingly. "A pirate crew selects its captain based upon the amount of plunder he brings in. Well lately, Jack's been on a bit of a dry streak. There's talk of replacing him. Very serious talk."

"But he's a legend!"

"He's a legend who hasn't been bringing in any money. He dares not return from this mission empty handed. The crew will mutiny."

"What if he had a treasure map? Would that do?"

Pintel asked, "A treasure map to what?"

"Buried treasure," said Suzanne. "Gold, silver, jewels, those kinds of things."

Jack nodded his head. "Those kinds of things are very nice kinds of things. So, just where is this treasure map?"

She went to one of the walls and pushed a knothole. The walled clicked, and a small section swung away. Inside the now-revealed compartment were a scroll of parchment, two ornate chests (one the size of a footstool, the other the size of a melon) and a ruby tiara sitting on top of the larger chest. She took the scroll and handed it to Jack.

The scroll unrolled and proved to be the map of an island. It featured a dotted line which led a winding course to a large letter "X." To one side were written instructions explaining how to get to the "X." And beside the "X" were written the words: "Dig here."

Jack said, "It's a treasure map, all right."

Will noted, "There's a problem. There's nothing to identify the island. There's no labeling, no latitude and longitude laid out, no nothing."

Jack looked at Suzanne, who shrugged helplessly. "Sorry."

He looked sadly at the map, at Suzanne, at the map, at the two chests in the wall compartment, and at the map again. Then he took out the tiara, set it on her head, and handed her the small chest. He motioned for Pintel and Ragetti to take the larger chest.

"I'm leaving you here, luv, because I must have your jewels," he told her. "I need to bring my crew something of immense value, or I'll lose my ship. A map to nowhere simply doesn't cut it."

"So, you're betraying me?"

"Betraying and abandoning," he admitted. Then with a shrug, he explained: "Pirate."


	10. A Damsel in Distress

Chapter 10: A Damsel in Distress

Père Nuit came to, lying on his back in the darkness of Mademoiselle Suzanne's bedroom. Nearby, someone was skinning a cat.

He was pretty sure his jaw was not broken, no matter how badly it throbbed, but he had definitely chipped a tooth. Plus, there was a lump on the back of his head the size of a hen's egg where he had hit the floor. He struggled up onto his knees and searched around for his crumpled top hat.

The cat yowling began to sound weird. He focused his eyes and saw Mademoiselle Suzanne kneeling in the moonlight on her bed, wailing her eyes out.

"Little one?" he asked, staggering up onto his feet. "Whatever is the matter?"

She turned quivering to him. "Lwsinmw wuh shns jne dse!" she explained through a torrent of tears. "Koen sn uouc dkmks snjncc, snjncc, snjncc wgos hhz ss!"

He shook his head. "I didn't understand any of that. Could you try it once again?"

She rushed to him and crushed him to her. "Guses kms vdyvs jnij omsn xn gysoo!"

"Someone has broken your heart." This was no so much a literal translation as it was an educated guess. "Ah! You are in love! No wonder my voodoo had no power over you! Congratulations!"

"Atf skjn lpf tmfp suuh sknd!"

"Or, maybe not. Here, dry your eyes, little one. No man is worth this many tears." He took his handkerchief out of his jacket pocket and graciously offered it to her.

She put the handkerchief to her nose and blew a copious amount of snot into it. Then she smiled gratefully and handed it back.

He took it gingerly between a fingertip and thumb and, when she wasn't looking, threw it out the french doors. Père Nuit was at something of a loss here. Comforting hysterical females had not been part of his training to be an evil bokor.

"Oh Père Nuit!" she blubbered. "I want to rip his guts out, wrap them around his throat and strangle him to death with them! I want to sink my teeth into his chest, gnaw my way deep inside and devour his still-beating heart! I want to smash in his skull and dance in the muck of his filthy brains. Because, I just love him so much!"

"Mon Dieu," commensurated Père Nuit. "What has this man done to you ? Oh no! He didn't steal your jewels, did he?"

"No, he left me my jewels," she said, pointing to the small chest next to the tiara on the dresser. "Although I'm sure he left them just because he didn't realize that the few jewels I own will fit into a chest that small."

"So then, what did he take?"


	11. Weigh Anchor!

Chapter 11: Weigh Anchor!

The crew of the _Black Pearl_ was not happy with Captain Jack Sparrow. "So, there's no such thing as a hidden treasury full of gold, and the treasure chest you did bring back has no key?"

"Key?" echoed Jack. "We need no key. We have within our number, a trained blacksmith. Will Turner, show these louts how a trained blacksmith can use his well honed skills to open a treasure chest when there is no key available."

Will shrugged. He took a step forward, looked down at the chest, snatched a musket from a nearby pirate, aimed and fired. Shards of hot metal and molten lead splattered into the crowd, and several crew members danced away, howling.

One of the men examined the lock. "Didn't work."

Will traded his unloaded musket for a loaded one. As he took aim for the second time, the undead monkey came scurrying up and sniffed at the lock. Will fired and the monkey shriek, spun, and fled for his life, or for his death, or whatever it is that undead monkeys flee for when they run away really fast.

Again Will traded muskets. Again he aimed. Again he fired. The lock shattered.

"Ya har!" screamed the men with joy as they leaped forward and threw open the chest to reveal, "Rocks?"

"Ore shot through with gold," shrugged Jack, "and silver."

The men examined the rocks. "No gold here. No silver."

"Ah, of course! It's diamonds. Before they're cut and polished, raw diamonds look like nothing."

The men passed the rocks back and forth, examining them. "No diamonds here, nor jewels of any sort. These are just a bunch of rocks, pretty ones to be sure, but just rocks. You have stolen someone's rock collection."

Elizabeth blurted out, "We have a treasure map!"

"Arg!" growled the men happily as they snatched the scroll from her. They examined it closely. "Aye, it's a treasure map all right. Look there, a big 'X' with 'Dig here' written right next to it. You can't get much more treasure-mappish than that!"

"Hey! So where is this island? There's no name here, no map references. How are we to find it?"

Will Turner shrugged. "We're still working on that part."

The men glared.

"No we're not," said Jack.

"Yes we are, Captain. We need to figure out how to find the island."

"I know how to find the island, mate."

Will asked incredulously, "And how do we do that?"

Captain Jack Sparrow held up his compass that pointed to his heart's desire. He waited upon the needle stopped spinning. Thankfully, it didn't point back towards Suzanne. It pointed out to sea. Jack pointed in the same direction. "We sail that way, mates," he said. "Weigh anchor!"

Suzanne de Xanillèe was captain of the _Vengeful Vixen_, or at least she had been for the past seven and a half minutes. She'd traded a goodly portion of her gems for this ship. What was she thinking? This was crazy! How had this happened?

She'd told Père Nuit about Captain Jack Sparrow now having her father's treasure map. The bokor had described the map to her in great detail. What great magical power did he have which allowed him to see it so well? It was no magical power at all. He was the one who had drawn the map. Did he know where the mysterious island was? Yes, he'd grown up there. Did he think that Captain Jack Sparrow could find the island? Of course, he was Captain Jack Sparrow, was he not? Indeed, he was probably already on his way there.

Suzanne had asked Père Nuit if he knew anything about revenge. The bokor had shrugged in bony shoulders and said 'Oui, a little.' He had instructed her to purchase a ship, and he'd promised that he'd provide a crew. A crew? It was the middle of the night! The only seamen who'd still be up at this hour would be falling down drunk. What good would they be?

On the other hand, she'd gotten a fantastic bargain price of the ship. The previous owner had figured that, if he'd set sail, the _Black Pearl_ would swoop down on his ship, and he'd lose everything. So the handful of bobbles that Suzanne had offered was a godsend. He'd jumped at her offer.

And so here she was, pacing the deck of her new ship and waiting for a hoard of drunken seamen to come weaving their way towards her. What had she been thinking?

"Little one, ahoy!" shouted the voice of Père Nuit.

She looked over the side and here they came, her crew. But they weren't stumbling and weaving as she had predicted. They were more shambling. She took a closer look. Ragged clothes and rotting flesh! No words, only groaning and grunting. The stench of the dead filtered up to her nose. Père Nuit had brought her a crew of zombies!

They lurched up the gangplank and came on board.

Père Nuit snapped a sloppy salute. "Permission to come aboard, Captain?" he said happily.

"Zombies? You brought me zombies?"

He shrugged. "I'm a bokor. What were you expecting, the Ladies' Tea and Charitable Works Society?"

"But zombies?"

"Each and every one of these men has had a lifetime at sea, and more! They will serve you well, and you need not worry about them stealing food or being drunk on duty. You'll find no better crew anywhere, I promise you. So if you really want your revenge upon Captain Jack Sparrow, I suggest you order them to weigh anchor."

There was a long pause, and then Suzanne de Xanillèe, Captain of the _Vengeful Vixen_, threw her head back and bellowed, "Weigh anchor!"


	12. Sailors Take Warning

Chapter 12: Sailors Take Warning

"Red skies in the morning, sailors take warning," said Elizabeth coming up next to Jack as he sailed his ship into the coming dawn. The sky to the east was ablaze with reds, oranges, pinks and yellows. It looked as if Hell itself was just over the horizon.

Jack ignored the sky's threat. If felt so good to get out of those itchy clothes and back in his sea garb and to once again have kohl lining his eyes. This is how a real man should feel. And that mysterious ship which had been dogging their trail was now nowhere to be seen. That was another bit of good news. He studied his compass, which was continuing to point the way straight into middle of the polychromatic maelstrom ahead. "Morning luv, where's Will?"

Elizabeth replied, "In his cabin, studying charts. He's convinced that, if our current course is correct, then the island on the map must be Île de Lamentations."

"Eel what?"

"French for 'Island of Wailing', luv," she cooed at him. "You know the legend about it, don't you?"

"Of course I do. Er, what legend?"

"From what I remember, about twenty or thirty years ago, a plague swept the island. It killed every man, woman and child there, all except for one small boy. In the following years, several fishing boats spotted the boy. There were occasional attempts to rescue him, all ending in disaster for the would-be rescuers. Those few who returned reported that the island has been overrun with zombies."

"Oh yes, that legend."

"So that's where we're going."

Jack nodded. "Apparently."

"I just thought you'd want to know." She got up and left the quarterdeck.

He waited until she'd gone. "Mr. Gibbs, rum if you please! Rum for breakfast! For me and all my men!" If he was going to be facing zombies, there was no way he was going to be sober when he did it.

By the time the _Pearl_ made her final run up to Île de Lamentations, the hellish red sky in the east had turned black as the devil's heart. Lightning flashed silently within the evil clouds which blotted out the horizon.

No one had seen the undead monkey for hours.

Mr. Gibbs asked nervously, "Sir, are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Of course I do," Jack replied, the rum only slightly slurring his words. "Uh, what am I doing?"

"Sailing to a cursed island."

"Can't be helped. There's treasure there. Oodles of treasure! Enough to calm the crew down and assure that I'm captain of the _Black Pearl_ for the rest of my days!"

"If your luck turns bad, Captain, the rest of your days might end today."

On the quarterdeck of the _Vengeful Vixen_, Père Nuit peered through a spyglass at the horrendous storm gathering ahead of them. It was only when distant lightning struck that he could make out the black sails of the_ Pearl _as she was silhouetted against a white flash of light.

Beside him, Captain Suzanne de Xanillèe studied the ship's charts. She saw the name of the island which lay ahead of them, Île de Lamentations, and she remembered the awful stories she had heard about it.

"Do you realize where it is that we're heading?" she asked Père Nuit.

The evil bokor nodded. "Home."


	13. Île de Lamentations

Chapter 13: Île de Lamentations

Jack piloted the _Black Pearl_ up a narrow gash which cut between cliffs deep into the island. According to the map, there once had been a fishing village on the rocky shore here. But as the ship dropped anchor, no sight of the village could be seen. Jack led the landing party ashore.

"Eerie," murmured Will, looking at the dark overgrowth.

"Spooky," agreed Elizabeth.

Jack checked the map again. "Where's the village?"

Gibbs said, "Here," and he kicked the remains of a barely recognizable section of wooden wall, now collapsed and broken, rotting in the tall brush. Not too far away, a few yards of eroded stone foundation could be seen, now broken up by young coconut trees. The jungle had reclaimed this area. "No one's been here for decades."

Jack looked around. "The dotted line begins here then. And heads that way." He started out. "Keep together, men, and keep your eyes peeled."

These last orders were unnecessary. The men bunched behind him so tightly that, if they'd have been any closer, they'd have been in front of him - not like _that_ was ever going to happen.

The brewing storm was coming closer. The sky overhead was darkening. Powerful gusts of wind exploded out of nowhere. Distant thunder boomed and echoed.

Suzanne steered the _Vengeful Vixen_ towards a deep gash in the rocky palisades.

Père Nuit crept up behind her. "Not that way, Captain," he said. "Veer off to port, and let's make our way up the coast a little."

"But I remember the map distinctly," she protested. "Up this gash is a small village. It's there where the dotted line begins."

"True," hissed to bokor. "True, but I know this island like the back of my hand. If we drop anchor up the coast, we can take a shortcut overland, and we'll be waiting for them when they arrive at the treasure site."

She nodded. "So, the element of surprise will be on our side. Very good, Père Nuit." She swung the ship to port.

"Hurry, little one. We need to be safely anchored before the storm hits. It is going to be a very nasty one."

Jack led his group along. All the man-made landmarks on the map had been obliterated by time and by jungle growth. But the contours of the hills and the course of the stream had remained the same. They crept along, thankful that there were no eyes watching them. Not a single zombie had been sighted. How long did one of those monstrous things live, or die, or whatever it was that they did, er last? How long did they last? Maybe they'd all crumbled to dust. That would be good.

Jack led the landing party up over a low rise in the land, and they looked down upon . . .

"A graveyard!" moaned Elizabeth.

Will grunted, "Terrific."

Pintel blurted out, "We ain't goin' down there, are we Captain?

Ragetti put his wooden eyeball into his pocket for safety.

Gibbs saluted, "Permission to return to the ship and bring up reinforcements, sir."

Jack studied the map again. "The 'X' is located right in the middle," he said. "Everyone stay quiet and follow me." He led the way down.

Through her spyglass, Suzanne watched Jack's landing party come over the rise and begin their descent towards the overgrown graveyard below. A light rain started to fall, pattering on the coconut fronds and hissing in the tall grasses. Suddenly, a crack of thunder made her jump, and lightning flash violently. Then there was nothing but the fading echo of thunder and the hiss of the rain.

"Here they come, Père Nuit," said Suzanne. "Get the men ready. Er, I mean, get the zombies ready."


	14. Life or Death

Chapter 14: Life or Death

Jack led his landing party down, along the path of the dotted line on the map. They made their way through the falling rain, deep into the heart of the graveyard. Jack began to consult the writing on the side of the map, which led him to the precise grave. Aye, the name on the weather-beaten headstone matched the name on the ancient map. "Dig here," he ordered.

Pintel and Ragetti picked up pick and shovel, took one last look around for any lurking zombies, and began to dig.

It began to rain harder. Lightning flashed and thunder roared. Pintel and Ragetti dug their way down through the mud.

They struck something hard, wooden and flat. Both leapt out of the grave, shivering, making signs against evil.

Jack shook his head and leapt down into the grave. He brushed the mud away from the top of the wooden lid. It was far too small for a coffin. It must be a treasure chest. "Throw down one end of a rope!"

Will tossed it down.

Jack dug down along one end of the chest until he found the handle. He tied the rope around it, and clambered out of the muddy hole. "Okay, me hearties, grab onto the rope and heave!"

Everyone grabbed onto the rope.

"All right, one-two-three, _heave!_" They pulled mightily on the rope, and slowly, the chest was dragged out of the mud with a sickening slurping sound. Once it was free, it waddled more easily up the side of the grave.

"Uh, is it just me," asked Ragetti, "or does anyone else hear growling?"

All around, for as far as they eye could see, rotting corpses were digging their way out of graves.

"Zombies!"

"Weapons out!" Jack commanded. "Form a circle! Backs together! Protect your neighbors!"

Elizabeth shouted, "Captain, look!"

He followed her eyes to where she was looking. Suzanne, Père Nuit, and another contingent of zombies with cutlasses out were charging down the hill at them.

"Oh good," grumbled Jack. "I was just thinking that what we really need are _more_ zombies."

"Captain," wailed Pintel, "we have to get out of here!"

"Ordinarily, I'd be with you on that one, mate. But we seem to be surrounded. But show me a clear path, and we're out of here."

"But if we stay here, we'll die!"

"If we try and run, we'll die faster."

"Heaven help us!"

"Heaven, Hell, or anyplace in between. I'm not turning down help from any quarter."

The first wave of zombies hit them. The creatures were slow, and the quicker blades of the pirates easily ripped into them and cut them down. But there were so many of them, and they just kept coming and coming and coming.

Captain Suzanne de Xanillèe charged across the graveyard along with her zombie crew and the evil bokor Père Nuit. As she approached the battle, she was amazed to see the majesty with which Captain Jack Sparrow was fighting. There was such a grim determination of his face, much like the night when she first saw him perched atop her father's chandelier, challenging the world. Mon Dieu, what a man! Her heart beat wildly in her chest.

"Stop!" she shouted suddenly to her troops. "Stop the attack! This is wrong! Leave them be!"

Père Nuit glowered at her. Yet another weakling human. He pointed a bony finger at her. "The captain has switched sides. She is with the enemy now. Kill her!"

The zombie turned and leapt upon her, biting, ripping, and tearing. They had no mercy, and scores of them swarmed over her. Her death screams rang out and then were suddenly silent.

Most of the pirates saw Suzanne fall and saw the bloody end that would be in store for them if they lost this battle. It was all Elizabeth could do to keep from turning away, but she knew she had to keep alert and block the rusty blades that were coming at her right now. Will thought only of Elizabeth's safety and searched desperately for a way to save her.

Captain Jack Sparrow was enraged. He'd like to cut his way through the sea of zombies and ruthlessly chop the skinny bokor in half. But to do that, would leave his mates exposed, and so he dared not do that. Filled with frustration, he bent down, pick up a rock and hurled it.

The rock hit Père Nuit on the head. The bokor staggered. The hundreds of zombies staggered. Père Nuit took three steps to the left. Hundreds of zombies took three steps to the left. The bokor toppled over on his back and lay still. The sea of zombies toppled over on their backs and lay still.

Captain Jack Sparrow looked around the suddenly quiet graveyard. "Yo ho?" he said cautiously.

Mr. Gibbs asked, "Orders, Captain?"

"Let's grab the treasure chest and depart this island with all possible haste. Savvy?"


	15. Sailors' Delight

Chapter 15: Sailors' Delight

The _Black Pearl_ sailed westward into a blazing sunset. Elizabeth came up next to Jack, who was manning the wheel, and purred into his ear, "Red sky at night, sailors' delight."

He turned his kohl-lined eyes to hers. "So Elizabeth, is everything ship shape? Is the crew happy with the treasure?"

She nodded. "The crew is ecstatic with the treasure."

"They should be. It's not every day that a pirate crew walks off with a voodoo bokor's personal fortune."

"When those zombies started popping up like mushroom, I thought we were all dead."

"We all thought that." After a while, he said, "Did you see what happened out there? Why do you think she tried to stop the attack?"

A seagull passed overhead, mewing.

Elizabeth said softly, "I think she did it because she realized she was in love with you."

He squirmed. "Silly reason," he grumbled. "Silly thing to die for, love. To give up everything for someone who doesn't love you back, for someone who's already betrayed you once. It's just plain silly."

"We're lucky that she didn't think so. You didn't love her?"

Jack shook his head. "This is my true love, luv: the sea, the _Pearl_, the horizon which stretches away forever, the endless freedom, the feel of wind in my hair and sea spray on my face, the knowledge that there's treasure in the hold and that my men are happy. No woman could ever compete with this."

They continued to sail towards the sun as it slipped over the horizon. Yellows were turning to gold; pinks to red. The blue sky slipped into indigo.

Elizabeth looked lovely in the first glow of twilight.

Then Jack said hollowly. "She's dead, Elizabeth."

"Only in a sense, Jack. She'll continue to walk the earth. She was killed by zombies, so she will become a zombie herself. She was killed by many zombies, with each one pouring zombieness into her as she died. So she will no ordinary zombie. She will be a zombie queen, ruling over a legion of lesser zombies."

"Really?"

"Really and truly. And one more thing you should know. The last powerful emotion that she had was her love for you. So, she's going to come searching for you. And if she ever finds you, she and her legion of zombies are going to eat your brains."

"That's a _horrible_ thing to say to _anyone_!"

She shrugged. "I just thought you should know."

"Well, it's just terrible!"

"It's just part of the price you pay for being Jack Sparrow."

Emotion welled up inside of him, growing stronger, larger, raging like a hurricane. And suddenly it burst out of him in the words: "That's _Captain_ Jack Sparrow!"

The End

**Author's Notes:**

I have never before written a story as serpentine and as kaleidoscopic as this one. As I wrote it, almost every element changed, and usually more than once. The story had a least four working titles. The original beginning was in St. Kitts, and the daughter of the governor there was such a minor character, she had no name. El León's astonishing one-man stand was first set in a barroom full of pirates in Tortuga.

(By the way, I am particularly proud of that scene. Heroes from Errol Flynn to Jackie Chan have successfully battled against overwhelming odds, but how often does one of the bad guys get to do this?)

The change which upset me the most is what happened to Suzanne. She was supposed to go off swashbuckling with Jack, to leave behind her dull life of meaningless luxury to take up a life of danger and adventure. I was as surprised as anybody when Jack suddenly turned on her, stole her jewels (supposedly), and ruthlessly abandoned her. (This plot twist was Jack's idea, not mine!)

This is my third Jack Sparrow story. I wrote this for the same reason I wrote the other two: to attempt to better understand the elusive character of Captain Jack Sparrow. Getting a grip on him is like getting a grip on a wet bar of soap. He is slippery and a puzzlement with a puzzlement.

We are much different, Captain Jack Sparrow and I. I am a hopeless romantic. In contrast, when it comes to romance, Jack is hopeless. In the movies, his relationships with women appear to consist solely of getting his face slapped. In three movies, he never had a lady love. In this story, he is so fixated upon finding treasure and upon keeping command of the _Black Pearl, _that he jettisons a daring, resourceful and beautiful woman who's madly in love with him.

I originally envisioned Père Nuit's voodoo hold over Suzanne being broken by Jack's fantastic love-making abilities. But contrary to my plan, Jack never makes it in between Suzanne's sheets. Instead, the voodoo curse is broken solely because of Suzanne's unrequited love for Jack. Grr, I just want to grab Jack and kick him right in the poop deck.

Thankfully, Jack does get his comeuppance at the end. Whereas I would have sailed happily away into the sunset with my loving woman by my side, Jack will be perpetually pursued by a zombie queen determined to devour his brains.

I wish to thank Sid Meiers, creator of the computer game "Pirates!" which taught me about small, out-of-the-way colonies like Petit-Goâve. My thanks also to "Google Translate," which helped me with my French and Spanish. Olé!


End file.
